Welcome to another gripping episode of DID I TELL YOU ABOUT ALBATROSS, the space where golf, humor, and life's peculiar moments intersect.
This week's conversation tees off with Alba’s intriguing uncertainty over past comments, quickly hooking into a hearty debate about golf equipment, where drivers take the center stage. The trio swings into action, discussing mind-blowing golf ball speeds and distances that veer into record-breaking territory.
Episode Highlights :
00:00 Introduction to Komodo Dragon
3:40: Jersey Jerry now named Joey Doughnuts
4:20: Professional simulator pros vs PGA TOUR PROS on Matts
5:20: Spaghetti Challenge Origin
9:10: Golf Plaque Installation at club
9:37:- Spaghetti Challenge Update
07:49: Customized ball markers for every episode.
18:20: Rumors about Nick and Andy's behavior spreading
18:58: “Shit Rocking” Great Band Name/ Ball marker / Tee Shirt
21:10: for new 4 man Tournament DITYAMA.FM is doing
21:20: Marker Locker Pitch
23:00: show sayings recap: “F*ck Gorse”, Bunkers happen, See ya on the next tee, press, who the Fuck is Harry Cooper, Adderall and Salads, Calvin Peet Accurate Pimp
24:48: Who the F**k is Harry Cooper
25:59: Floridas Symbol: “Crackhead walking an alligator, inside a Dollar General, next to a meth lab
26:00: Komodo Dragon in the C-store (SPIRIT ANIMAL ALERT)
30:38: Giant lizard surprises shoppers, climbs store shelf.
39:09: Stump The Panda
51:01: Worse Scandal
55:00: Top High School Mascots
57:00: Price to drink ball water
58:08: Our chartable causes
59:00: “According to Creen”
1:02: Flamethrowers and golf ball cannons
1:04: “No Trespassing, Violators will be met with a flamethrower”
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If I recreate the albatross from 247 out on pine
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one and I film the whole thing one continuous shot,
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will you try to eat half a golf ball? But try to eat half a
00:00:11
golf ball. Put whatever sauce you want on it. Do we
00:00:15
have ambulance? That's what I was going to say. Yeah. If we didn't have somebody
00:00:18
on site. Yeah, we can have multiple people on site. We'll have so much money
00:00:22
in sponsors by then. Shout out to Daphne. Shout out Chris Paul, CP, and
00:00:26
Scott Van Pelt. If we have somebody on site with the jaws of life, then,
00:00:29
yeah. Did I tell you about my albatross?
00:00:32
Ayo, here we go. Come on.
00:00:36
Welcome to another episode of did I tell you about my albatross? I'm your
00:00:39
host, Albie. This is the goth podcast for honest degenerates. It's like
00:00:43
teeing up with your favorite forsome every week and diving into the best stories
00:00:47
in and around golf. You guys ready to tee off? Let's go.
00:00:51
We added chillin on the right. We got another episode of did I tell you
00:00:54
about my albatross? And, boy, do we have a good one for you tonight. I'm
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your host, Albie. I got my man panda with me. Say what's up,
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Panda? Hello. And we've got a guest in the
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shed. This is crazy. Good friend of ours, good friend of the show, good
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friend of the family, and welcome to Albie's nest.
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Drew, Evelyn. Thank you very much. Thanks for coming in. Dude, it's
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been golf club. We've been thinking about getting
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you on here for quite some time, and I'm glad it finally happened. Hopefully the
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first of many. So Drew and I go way back. So I think,
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Drew, I probably met you in 2016, right? I know when we first moved to
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Tampa, I think I joined Carolwood at, like, 2016. I believe
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it was a long time ago. So has happened a lot. Drew and I
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have shared quite a bit, even. In fact, you were with me for my first
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and only hole in one. This is what precluded the
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albatross that I'm happy to tell you about. Drew, I
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think you already know about it, and so does our audience. But you were there
00:01:50
for it, right? You saw it. I'm not going to say it's got an asterisk
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on it. What is your take
00:01:58
on that? So just so a reminder for everyone, I got a hole in one
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on a legit. Like, we're playing from the blues dips. It was windy that
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day, like, 158 out. It was legit, but it
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was during COVID and there was the foam
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shit in the hole. Right. But it wasn't like in my opinion.
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I felt like that actually. I feel like that deserves more credit because it
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could have easily bounced out. Is that your take or
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know that is my take. But
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the cart girl is what I remember. I think
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Emily came right around the corner like right when you
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made that ace and you did the
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right thing. You bought us all drinks. I feel like hugging you right now, dude.
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I mean it didn't take 10 seconds. Sort of come around the corner. No.
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So we got a crazy episode because we're going to try to pack a lot
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in here and we're going to try to go pretty quick. We got a spaghetti
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challenge update. Everyone remembers when Panda made the comment
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about man, Scotty shuffler. Do you know where this originated from?
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The spaghetti stuff? Yeah, a little bit about
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how like. Well it came from like the
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TGL. Is that the tiger? Yeah. Tiger Golf
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league or not tomorrow Golf league. Stupid name by the way. Terrible name
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where I said that you put. Let me get your opinion on
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that. You put a guy that is on
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mats all day because there is a professional golf league of guys
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that hit simulator balls all day long. They play that all
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know this big thing in social this week. Joey donuts or whatever the fuck his
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better. All right. We're going to call him Joey donuts. I like that better too.
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You're right. Panda. Which by the way, I'm like I could definitely play
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Jersey Jerry's game because it's about damn time that I
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get a hole on myself. Now does that count? Does a simulator hole in one
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count? No, I don't think it does a little bit. I don't think it does.
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I think it counts as a simulator hole in one. Yeah.
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Okay. Yeah, you can say that. He also had, I mean he hit
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the same ball like 9000 times 2500 or something. I don't know.
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Yeah. Like over 4000 times. Dude. It became a challenge. Everyone started
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so it went Viral. It was the hottest. I don't know. I read
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it like Tom Brady was writing. It's insane
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to me. My albatross to win a tournament should be even
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more famous. But that's okay. But my point filmed. My
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point to Panda is that a guy
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hitting into a simulator in a professional league doing it all day
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would fucking destroy the guys on the PGA Tour hitting into a
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simulator. That's mine. They're hitting off mats now. Typically they're hitting off
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mats. I know that. Tomorrow Goffley, they were talking about hitting off real turf
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at least I thought before the whole dome collapsed and it caught on fire. Whatever.
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Do you hit a seven iron as far in the TGL league
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as you do at PJ Superstore? I tell you who knows it, because. It'S always
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200 yards. I'll tell you who knows it is the people that do it for
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a living in the simulators. I'll tell you who don't really have a good idea.
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That would be the professional guys who are on tour hitting it out of real
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grass. And that was my argument, is that those guys absolutely have an
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advantage over the pro guys. Now, Panda said Scotty Sheffler could
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hit a ball out of a plate of spaghetti or a pile of spaghetti. And
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I love that idea. So we started doing this. We basically went up
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to. And if you're on YouTube, check this out. Because I've been approaching random
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people. Panda and I had an episode where we went up to two kids
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from Jesuit, and they started. We're like, hey, do you want to hit a
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driver? They were on pine one, my favorite hole. Don't make it over the
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water. Can you make it over the water off a pile of spaghetti? And they
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were great sports, and they did it. And one dude fucking
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crushed it. The other dude did. Okay. It was hard.
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It's hard to hit off a plate, a pile of spaghetti. It's probably less
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dense. You got to look into the density of, like, a normal carawood
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divot versus spaghetti. You got to figure out, is that closer to
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sand? We found out some good metrics of the
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spaghetti. It comes out knuckly. It depends on what
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we had the launch monitor. So it comes out like 900 spins. What does a
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ball mark look like on an eight iron after hitting on
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spaghetti? We actually have that exact low. We can show you.
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Comes in skippy. It's just a little bit messy for
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me. No sauce. No sauce.
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We did it without sauce. We did the challenge with sauce. We had no one
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that participated. I'm assuming it's because of the sauce. So my thought was to maybe
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take the sauce away. Give away anyone that
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tags us in the videos, a vessel, golf bag,
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and we'll put the names in a hat, and we'll figure
00:06:40
out who won. We want to get spaghetti banned on the golf course. We want
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to get spaghetti banned on the golf course. I want golf courses across the country
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or world to be like, hey, this spaghetti challenge, like, no one can do this
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anymore. Stop doing it. Signs that say, we have birds everywhere. No
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spaghetti, no walking, no letting your dog shit on the fairway. No hitting
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off. No spaghetti. Yes. Just imagine if you,
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in this game, let's call it or challenge, you
00:07:05
require sauce to be just off the tea box.
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We can do that. So then there's no. We're making our own
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challenge. Yeah. So there's no spaghetti or
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sauce on our tea box. Yeah, I mean, I like that. I kind of
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like the different pastas. Like, I literally cooked
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well, I mean, I cooked all kinds of different kinds of pasta.
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We had a little bit of everything, didn't we, panda. We had Mac and cheese.
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We had angel hair. We had penne. We had. Do you think you could
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tee up a driver off penne? Well,
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we haven't done penne yet. That's in our
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coming. It's definitely coming. That's also phase two. Yeah. We got multiple phases
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of this bad boy. And then the other thing that I'll show you. So I
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went last night with my son, Grayson. Shout out to
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grey gray. He was there with me. And we are
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also doing another challenge where I'm going to go every single day and I'm going
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to try to hit my albatross. I'm going to try to recreate my albatross. And
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I've got two attempts at it so far. The first day was, it was a
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hurricane and it was 60 yards short. The second day, I
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got greenside. It goes crazy. I'm like, this is totally possible. I'm going to fucking
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make another one of these, and I'm going to have it on camera. Now. I
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got to be honest, you can't really see where that ball is
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going in that video. It's because it's dark. Yeah, but, man, it looked like a
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giant snap hook to me, the way. I was
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facing what was on the left side of the green. It wasn't a snap hook.
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It was actually a. I was like, oh,
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update. Fringe. Nice. Yeah. You like that? How
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I did a little jump cut. They call that. That was. That was. That's a
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real deal now. Have you thought about putting a plaque into the ground
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there? Yes. Okay. Do we need a plaque? Do we need
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to, like, I grew up catholic. Do we just need to go around
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the clubhouse with a basket and just be like, this is for
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albies? No, I think we just put it in. I think we get our own
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plaque. We don't need donations. I'll do it right now. We just
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drive there in the middle of the night. I'll help install that.
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We got to have a video on that. So one of the other segments that
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going to be doing, I love the plaque idea. I did buy a laser engraver.
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I can totally laser engrave everything, because what I wanted to do is, for every
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episode, you're going to get a ball marker, a customized ball marker. When you leave
00:09:20
here, we're going to take a funny moment from the show. Hopefully we'll have a
00:09:22
couple. We're off to a rocky start,
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and then I'm going to have a funny moment, and then I'm going to have
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a ball marker. I'm going to film me making it and then I'm going to
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send it to whoever was on. So that's one of the segments we're going to
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be doing. Back to the spaghetti challenge, though. So Gregory and
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I were at Carolwood last night and I recreated the albatross
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and Greenside. You said it. Snapping. Whatever. Gregory and I
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found these two kids that were nice dudes, and I just went
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up to them and said, hey, do you mind hitting off the spaghetti? And
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this is what it looked like. Can you guys see
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that? This is
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the whole process. You know how long it takes to
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cook a lot of pasta? It's not easy, dude.
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Make sauce. Got to put that. Yeah, that's going to get everywhere. And it
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did put that in there. Yeah. Drain. That
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looks good, dude. Would you guys be opening? These are the guys. These are the
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kids. What's up? If you can get it on the green, off a plate of
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spaghetti, I'll give you. Are those Michael's friends with the Tennessee? All right, you want
00:10:28
to give it a whirl? All right, let's do it. Several different pastas you can
00:10:31
choose. They get it pine nine, angel hair. We've also
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got. If they get it on the green from pine nine, these
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guy, you choose the pasta, they get 20. We even got red sauce if you.
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Want to get crazy. From. No, from
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like after. Oh, 119. Put it on top. This is what
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hole again? Oh, this is PI nine. Yeah, it's an island.
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Now this dude chose Mac and cheese. I love it. This will be
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fun. Is this the first time you've ever hit me off Mac and
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cheese? Yeah. Okay. First time you hit off Mac and cheese. I was surprised by
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that stance. Yeah, look, good swing. Yeah, that's
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on the green. First time ever.
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$20. Nice. Mac and cheese.
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Nice to meet you. I don't know if I got $20. I thought for sure
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this was going to be an easy, like content that was going to be free.
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Now, his buddy. Stay tuned to what happened to his budy or catch us on
00:11:24
socials because that'll be coming out. But anyway, the update is the challenge
00:11:27
is going rabbit like. Dude, people are freaking out over it. The PJ show is
00:11:30
coming next week. We've got another tease that we're going to throw out there. So,
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Cabot, let's go ahead and talk panda and drew about Cabot
00:11:37
citrus Farm. So anyone in the Tampa Bay area knows that there was a really
00:11:41
cool course at one point called I. This is one of my favorite courses
00:11:45
in two courses. Yeah. I mean, their practice facility was
00:11:48
amazing. When they had money or when they
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kept it up. It was probably my favorite track in Florida. Hosted the
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WGCs, too. They did. They had Phil Nicholson versus
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who the fuck was it? I forget. Shells. Wonderful.
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Oh, that's right. That was shells. You're right. Sorry. It was Phil. It was Phil
00:12:07
and someone. But anyway, the track is amazing. It reminds me a lot of North
00:12:11
Carolina. And anyway, Cabot came in, scooped it
00:12:15
up, pennies on the dollar, and they flipped it around. They're like, right at
00:12:19
the tail end of all the renovations. So we are so
00:12:22
excited because we have somehow finagled our way into
00:12:26
getting media passes. And we're going to get a preview play, and we
00:12:30
are going to be some of the first people to play Cabot citrus farms.
00:12:34
We're going to be filming it. And then I've got some surprise collaborations
00:12:37
coming up. These are some of the best, most well known dudes
00:12:40
in the golf social, whatever you call them. What do
00:12:44
you call those people? Content creators. Golf content,
00:12:48
YouTube creators. I don't know. What do you call you? Yeah, what
00:12:52
do we call us? Yeah. Other than degenerates. So anyway, we're excited about
00:12:55
that. I think that's going to be fun. That's coming out. We're going to be
00:12:58
playing stump the panda here in a minute. And then I think
00:13:01
let's just go ahead and jump into the one
00:13:05
arm variation. So we've done this challenge before. Andrew, did you
00:13:09
see that? The one arm challenge? Golden arm, I think we call it.
00:13:14
Did you actually see who won? Did Billy win? So
00:13:18
he was hitting with one. Yeah. Yeah, I know. He lost. No, Billy got
00:13:22
shit. I don't think he got shit. Rocked. And you were throwing it. Yes.
00:13:25
And everyone doubted me. Damn. Yeah.
00:13:29
It just sounds. I don't know. I don't know how you did it. I have
00:13:33
a fucking howitzer to my shoulder, dude. He
00:13:37
has. It's kind of scary. Like, if he needed to kill you, he could throw
00:13:40
a golf ball at you and it would shatter your spine. It's crazy. Like Kenny
00:13:44
Powers. Jeez. Did you play baseball growing up?
00:13:47
Yeah. And he threw the javelin. I threw the javelin. Oh,
00:13:51
shit. Okay, there you go. We have a variation to that. Why don't you share
00:13:55
what it is. Panda. And I think what I've decided on this one. I'm
00:13:58
making an executive decision. I think we split these into two. It's just too much.
00:14:02
It's too much going on. I mean, I love that bracket. Yes. You have the
00:14:06
winners. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. A four person
00:14:10
bracket. Dude, you're already contributing. Like, that's so much more than
00:14:13
Billy's probably ever done on this show. Shepard, that's amazing. Gonna have to edit
00:14:17
that out. No, I'm leaving that one in now. I'm just kidding. I will. I'll
00:14:20
edit that out. That was a little rude. We love you, Billy. And that's not
00:14:22
true, by the way. But he didn't show up tonight, so
00:14:26
that I was a little. You know what? The wound is still open.
00:14:30
Yeah. Well, I told you what he did. Right?
00:14:34
Did I tell you what he did? I think I may have. The other night,
00:14:37
so we were hanging out. I'm not going to put words in. Your mouth, but
00:14:41
he told me that my albatross wasn't real. He said that there's a
00:14:45
rumor. Kill him. Did you stab him? There's a rumor going around, and the only
00:14:47
reason he did it is because Grady and I were beating him on the golf
00:14:49
course. I should have put two and two together. This is like, a long time
00:14:53
ago. This one. This was like a month. And
00:14:56
so. Wow. I didn't know it was in dispute. It's not.
00:15:00
It's not, dude. Well, I thought we need to kill this rumor.
00:15:04
Well, we had two, dude. No, he just plays mind games with him because he
00:15:07
gets a reaction. This is why he does it. He does it because he gets
00:15:11
a. Reaction out of you. But, dude, I've put a little bit in this.
00:15:14
I had a podcast based on my. But then I
00:15:18
started playing. Fuck. It started, dude drew a mess with me so much so quickly
00:15:21
because then I started being like, oh, they probably didn't want to. Like, wow. Really
00:15:25
ran with this. Like, he started a podcast on know. He's in
00:15:28
too deep. Yeah, he's in too deep. And now we didn't want to tell him.
00:15:31
So the way Billy did it was like, hey, man, I don't even know how
00:15:34
to say this, but Nick. So Nick was one of the guys that saw go
00:15:37
in. Him and Andy were waiting for us, or sea turtle were waiting for us
00:15:40
at the green. And so Nick was like, yeah, the other day Nick was, hey,
00:15:43
man. Like, there's this nasty rumor around. Said that Andy and I put it in
00:15:47
the hole before they got.
00:15:50
So. It's hilarious. It's fucking hilarious. It's a great joke,
00:15:54
but I started actually messing me. Dude, I consider
00:15:58
you to be an honorable man. Well, yes.
00:16:02
And I don't think most real golfers
00:16:06
would do that in a tournament. That is blast.
00:16:10
No, I would never. He was
00:16:14
saying, I wouldn't have known. They would have done it without me knowing. That's the
00:16:17
thing. They would have done it without me knowing. And the biggest problem I have
00:16:20
with this was the fact that. Oh, my God, dude, I just told
00:16:24
a gazillion people that I got an albatross to win a golf tournament. And
00:16:27
it's so fucked up. You have a mouse pad. Yes.
00:16:34
Did I tell you about my albatross logo? Dude,
00:16:38
I got four signs behind you. Look at this table. This table has it out.
00:16:42
Look, let me try and get out of the way here for the YouTube peeps.
00:16:44
Like, that's a golf ball with the albatross in the middle of it. I'm all
00:16:48
about got. You even had the Kerowood golf staff
00:16:51
write you an email. No, they wrote, that's to all the
00:16:55
members. Yeah, that's the one that they send out. Now, the drew,
00:16:59
the thing is, I had to make that trophy myself. Right? And then they didn't
00:17:03
even give me a trophy. Do you think they should make you a trophy, dog?
00:17:06
Yeah, dude, for winning a golf tournament. On you get. For winning the
00:17:10
golf tournament. You do, but not back then because they only gave it to the
00:17:13
gross winners and it's actually a net only. I thought you were saying that
00:17:17
they didn't send anything out. No, they did. They sent that. But
00:17:21
look at, the biggest thing that they missed is the fact that it wasn't on
00:17:23
my last shot to win the tournament to tie for the win. Oh, you know
00:17:26
what it was? They never said anything about your hole in one. They never said
00:17:29
anything about my hole in one. Then they started sending out emails.
00:17:33
So they did not make the same mistake
00:17:37
again. But they left out the most important part of that. But that's
00:17:40
okay. I mean, that's fine. They didn't mention that it was an. Albatross on the
00:17:44
last shot to win the last tournament. Yeah, that's kind of a
00:17:48
small detail. I mean, the ods are one in 600 million with the data
00:17:51
scientist we hired, but I'm over. It's not really that big of a deal. Yeah.
00:17:57
You've set your emotions aside, clearly. Anyway,
00:18:01
back to this one arm, one club challenge that you had an
00:18:05
excellent addition to. So what did you say again? I think we
00:18:08
should up bracket it. Yeah, I agree. One versus one.
00:18:13
Probably the toddler clubs versus one arm would be.
00:18:16
So let's talk through the bracket. Let's talk through this a little bit. So obviously,
00:18:20
those who don't know, go to our YouTube. I'm sure it'll be up by the
00:18:23
time this thing gets out. But we have a one arm. We basically took a
00:18:27
guy throwing the ball, panda, and we played nine
00:18:31
holes from the red tees. Another guy had, which was
00:18:35
shepherd had a one club, one arm, any club in his
00:18:39
bag for any shot. And we wanted to see who won. And it
00:18:42
came down. He thinks it was, what do you call it? A shit
00:18:46
rocking. A shit rocking which great band name, by the
00:18:50
way? I think it was not because I was
00:18:53
there. It came down the last hole. I mean, it came down to two holes.
00:18:57
It was like he won on eight. Yeah. That's not a shit
00:19:01
rocking. No. Great question for the polls. Whatnot. It's not. It just gets
00:19:04
him fired up. That's why I do that. All right. It's also to invoke an
00:19:08
emotion. Yeah. You guys just love playing with people's emotions. We
00:19:12
do. But the point was there that that was a great kind.
00:19:16
Like, we loved it. We're going to do two on two versus. But we had
00:19:18
a variation to that. So one arm, one club.
00:19:22
So you could choose any one club in your bag. You have to play
00:19:26
the whole round or however many holes we decide with just one club. Right.
00:19:29
Versus one arm guy with all the clubs in his bag.
00:19:33
That's bracket one, bracket two. You take over
00:19:36
panda, you hit every. Ball off of
00:19:40
pasta. Love it. Versus. You have really
00:19:44
tiny junior kids clubs. Yes.
00:19:47
Which usually. That's an interesting one because sometimes they only come like
00:19:51
five clubs. No, we just bought a set. You probably know from Jack.
00:19:55
You get 14. No, we just bought one for Adley because she's starting
00:19:58
her. No, it's less than that, dude. It's a seven iron,
00:20:02
a pitching wedge, a driver. Yeah. A Hybrid and a driver. I'm
00:20:06
like, toddler clubs would be hard, but honestly, I
00:20:10
think one club versus
00:20:12
spaghetti would be a better match. Spaghetti gets really
00:20:16
tough putting. How do we do the seating on this one? How do we seed
00:20:20
this fucker? Do we put one arm versus.
00:20:24
How do we seed it? Is it like normal tease? It's
00:20:28
like 6000 yard golf course one arm
00:20:32
guy. You should have a little bit of a disadvantage there. You got to pull
00:20:35
the audience on this one. All right, let's put down the poll.
00:20:39
How do we seed this challenge? And then what's the giveaway to
00:20:43
whoever wins? We need a sponsor so bad, otherwise it's
00:20:46
just coming, just paying itself
00:20:50
or whoever beats us. You got to spend money to make money.
00:20:54
Oh, we'll get you a sponsor. Yeah, we'll get a sponsor.
00:20:59
Speaking of sponsors, we can't give any sponsor shout outs unless they actually
00:21:02
give us money. They can give us money, but. Hand
00:21:06
me that marker locker. Shout out to our marker locker,
00:21:10
boys. These guys just dropped this bad boy. Love it,
00:21:14
man. Love the packaging. I told you I was going to do an unopening on
00:21:16
camera. Look at this. I have waited this entire time
00:21:20
to open it up. I think it's sexy,
00:21:24
man. And what's cool about it is inside, real easy to
00:21:28
open. You got all these magnets. You can put all your fancy ball markers there.
00:21:31
Do you know about the ball marker world? Oh, yeah. I'm into it now.
00:21:35
And every time I go to a new golf course, I get a ball
00:21:38
marker. So I've got some really cool ones, and my brother got me one from
00:21:42
Olympic out in San Francisco for Christmas.
00:21:45
Wow. But the thing is, I got a ball locker, I
00:21:49
guess, for my side table next to my bed. Just throw a
00:21:53
bunch of stuff there. And, dude, it's overloaded.
00:21:57
Nice. I mean, they're expensive. That's what got me into late.
00:22:01
Over the holiday break, I got into late turn engraving, and I really, like I
00:22:03
said I wanted to do this segment with the markers, but that's what got me
00:22:07
into it are these guys. I didn't even know about it. Dude, there's
00:22:10
this one guy called luxury ball marks, markers or something like that.
00:22:14
Shout out to him because he reached out to the show. This guy does
00:22:18
faces on Rolexes, and you're like, oh, that's a pretty good copy of
00:22:22
that face on a Rolex. No, that's actually the real thing. That's inside
00:22:26
the Rolex. And they start at like $4 for a ballmark. Wait
00:22:29
a second. He takes the face of Rolexes and makes them
00:22:33
into ballmark? I'm probably butchering it. Like, I want to make sure.
00:22:38
Obviously, it's a unique product, but, yeah. I think the big thing is
00:22:42
that people pay $4 for a ballmark. People
00:22:45
pay, not typically that, but, I mean, they do run from. I thought it was
00:22:49
like 15, $20 for all ball markers. And then I didn't realize that there's this
00:22:52
whole world that there's like. Yeah. These really unique ones, these really
00:22:56
high end custom ones that you can get for thousands. What's the most that
00:23:00
you've ever paid for a ball marker?
00:23:04
I was telling these guys when we had them on, I think for me,
00:23:08
I'm like you. I go to a nice course, I'm always going to get a
00:23:10
ball marker. And then that's how I remember. It's like a tangible memory for me.
00:23:15
I've paid probably $30 for those, so I'd say 30. What about you
00:23:19
guys. Man? I've probably paid,
00:23:22
like, $100. Oh, have you really? Yeah.
00:23:26
Wow. Yeah. There's a company on
00:23:29
Instagram that I follow. Pins and aces.
00:23:33
No, but their logo is like a
00:23:36
ghost. That's a good company, because, I mean, the marker locker guys had those, and
00:23:39
they had everything from, like, an old game Boy, like, an old Game Boy cartridge
00:23:43
that was like. Was that where you had trash fire? So then they told me
00:23:46
dumpster fire. Yeah. And I started getting into them. And so we have all these
00:23:50
sayings from the show, like, fuck. Know
00:23:55
what's another good one that you had? I mean, obviously, bunkers happen. Is one of
00:23:58
my favorites. Sam Snead plays chicks for money. See, on the next. Tea
00:24:02
came out. Adderall on salads. Eat that, bug. Adderall on salad
00:24:06
press. That's one of my favorites. Pound. Pound. What's that?
00:24:10
Does that say dick ball? It says bite ball.
00:24:16
Yeah. And so anyway, I think it'd be funny and hilarious to actually put all
00:24:19
this. Who the fuck is Harry Cooper, by the way? Do you know? Yep. Harry
00:24:23
Cooper? Yeah. Is that a golf person? Yeah, it is.
00:24:27
Yeah. Panda knew him. Is this person
00:24:30
alive? No, not anymore. But he was handsome. We lost Harry. Yeah,
00:24:34
he's gone. Looks like Calvin Pete's gone. But you know what? I
00:24:37
think that's a t shirt. Like, who the fuck is, like, what? He won the
00:24:41
most tournaments. What is it? Panda. You know Harry Cooper?
00:24:45
Yes. Has won the most PGA Tour events of any human
00:24:48
being. Who hasn't won a major. Harry
00:24:52
Cooper. All right. Can I guess a number? Sure. Are we
00:24:56
going into stuff the panda. Were you ready for something? Panda here. Let's go with
00:25:00
35. Very close. 31. Okay. How do you. But they
00:25:04
were in, like, the. Was with you when you learned this, and I don't know
00:25:07
how you. It's not even the fact that you know, it's the retention. The retention
00:25:11
on your brain is on jeopardy, bro. It's so fewer wise.
00:25:14
He wants to go on jeopardy so bad. But unless it's golf related, I don't
00:25:18
know how your normal knowledge is. Can you tell me
00:25:21
what's your algebra? How's your botany
00:25:24
going? Ask me some fucking botany questions.
00:25:28
Would they have state trees sidetracked? Do they have state trees or state plants? Do
00:25:32
we know? Or state flowers? How does it work? Yeah,
00:25:35
I think there's a tree. Okay. All right. What Florida
00:25:39
State tree? The pumpkin. Probably a palmetto.
00:25:44
It's not a Douglas Moss. Okay. It's not a Douglas fur. All
00:25:48
right. We are hopping, walking an alligator
00:25:52
inside. Of a dollar general next to a meth lab.
00:25:55
At least it's not like one of those Komodo dragons are in like
00:25:59
711 in Thailand. Are they? They have Komodo. You've never seen
00:26:02
that video? They don't have Komodo dragons? No. Have you seen this video,
00:26:06
panda? I haven't seen a Komodo dragon. It was like one
00:26:10
of those, like, Charlie bit my finger type of videos that went
00:26:13
around a few years back. Fucking Komodo dragon in a convenience
00:26:17
store. It was like 8ft long, climbing the
00:26:20
walls. Monitor
00:26:24
lizard. It frightened shoppers at a store in Thailand when it
00:26:28
wandered in. And then it started climbing that shelf. Once it got up there, the
00:26:31
lizard stretched out. Lizard took a rest. There are some
00:26:35
folks who think that the lizard came in to get a break from the heat
00:26:38
and humidity outside. What's even more striking are the number of
00:26:42
people that are, like, laughing in the background shooting the video. Yeah. I would have
00:26:46
seen a lizard right out the front door. Okay, great. We usually do not
00:26:49
let people, because you brought that to the show. That is an amazing contribution.
00:26:53
Thank you. We love that. That's what we're all about.
00:26:57
Panda and Shepard, this last episode, they had some great points.
00:27:00
Drew. They said that I don't even really. Or monitor lizard.
00:27:04
They said that to me. It's not even golf.
00:27:07
I can really care less about golf. I care more about, are there more eyes
00:27:11
or legs in the world than I do about what's
00:27:15
on Jordan's Pete's mind? I don't know.
00:27:18
And by the way, are there more eyes or legs in the world?
00:27:22
I've had a minute to think about this because we talked about it the
00:27:26
other day and I don't
00:27:30
know, actually, can I ask a qualifying
00:27:33
question? Okay. Are the eyes, do they have
00:27:37
to be physically there or do they have to work?
00:27:41
Probably physically there, right? Oh, I think physically there qualifies if that's
00:27:44
the case. Man, I'm going to say there are more eyes. I think there's for
00:27:48
sure more eyes. Why? Because you think there's a lot of creatures out there that
00:27:51
don't use their eyes. I think there's a lot of people. Legs, like you
00:27:55
said. Yeah. And there's like a lot of people that have gotten their legs caught
00:27:58
in a wood chipper. Oh, this is, this is like lizards and
00:28:02
bugs, dude. All living things. Everyone goes there. It's so
00:28:06
funny. I got to describe this better. Panda. You really need to search whales.
00:28:10
Yes. They have no legs. Tentacles. Fins do not count as
00:28:13
legs. Come at me. I'm going to go with
00:28:17
eyes. Eyes in a lion slide. Yeah. Chachi Pete thinks
00:28:21
legs. No, because you got a whole ocean full of. Sometimes
00:28:24
it's, know, weird. Weird non legged
00:28:28
animals. Yeah. The other question we always ask everyone on the show is, can a
00:28:31
human being eat a golf ball and survive?
00:28:35
And you may have had some time to even digest this one. What's your take
00:28:39
on it? And I use the word digest on purpose. What do you
00:28:43
think, bud? That's for monitor lizard. Monitor lizard,
00:28:46
yes. Go for monitor lizard. All right. I'm making you a ball marker
00:28:50
tonight. Amazing. So, yeah,
00:28:54
somebody can definitely eat a. Thank you golf ball, for sure. Okay.
00:28:58
Because the human body is an incredible thing. I mean, if you train
00:29:01
yourself to swallow giant
00:29:05
spherical objects, like a walnut,
00:29:09
like those joey chestnut and everything.
00:29:13
Panda, tell them what you think they eat. Lettuce. They eat lettuce to expand
00:29:16
their stomach. Is that what they do? How do you know? You know a little
00:29:19
bit about this, it sounds like. Well, I know a lot about a little. Okay.
00:29:23
A little about a lot, I think is actually it. That's golf
00:29:27
ball for sure. Yeah, 100%. I bet the house on it.
00:29:30
Somebody out there? Yeah. Some weird
00:29:34
panda. If I make this albatross. If I make this
00:29:37
albatross. Not albatross. If I just make this shot, if I
00:29:41
recreate the albatross from 247 out on pine
00:29:44
one and I film the whole thing, one continuous shot,
00:29:48
will you try to eat half a golf ball? But try to eat half a
00:29:52
golf ball. Put whatever sauce you want on it. Do we
00:29:56
have ambulance if we didn't have
00:29:59
somebody on site? Yeah, we can have multiple people on site. We'll have so much
00:30:03
money in sponsors by then. Shout out to Daphne. Shout out Chris Paul, CP three,
00:30:06
and Scott Van Pelt. If we can have somebody on site with the jaws of
00:30:09
life, then, yeah. Oh, this is amazing. I found
00:30:13
on Reddit. So there's a link that I sent you guys on the golf
00:30:17
ball update. It's been done. It's been done. It's been
00:30:20
swallowed. So we actually. This is. I don't know if I'm excited
00:30:24
about this or if I was just so disappointed because I don't know how interesting
00:30:27
this will be anymore after this, but long story short, it's been
00:30:31
done and the person lived. Okay,
00:30:34
so Panda always says, if you can swallow a sword, you
00:30:38
can swallow. I agree 100%. That's what I was going to say.
00:30:42
Yeah. And fire to you. But
00:30:46
before you do this, do you pick a certain golf ball or
00:30:50
do you just go for. It's not a. Whatever. What do they call them? Panda?
00:30:53
Feathery. A feathery or a gutty. It's not a gutty. It would be a
00:30:56
title. My gutties like firm. But yeah, the whole point. Feathery is
00:30:59
firm. Where this came about or where this came about. That
00:31:03
was a weird way to say where this came from is. It
00:31:07
basically came from Panda saying. I said that, hey, one of the contests we're going
00:31:10
to do or one of the things that's going to be our dna is once
00:31:13
we get a certain number of subscribers, I'm absolutely going to fucking not
00:31:17
mention the albatross ever again, ever in my life. I will never mention it.
00:31:20
And Panda's thing was. What was your take on that? My thing was, no,
00:31:24
the fuck you aren't. So if you do you have to eat the ball.
00:31:28
Panda said that I'll be playing pine one one day with a bunch of gibronis
00:31:32
that will hook one way left, like I always do. Just
00:31:36
like top roll one onto the green and be like, that's the best shot that's
00:31:39
ever been hit here. And he just has to stand there with his dick in
00:31:43
his hands and stare at him and be like, yes, no chance.
00:31:47
It's a very good point. And I'm like, dude, I'm an honorable dude. I'm obviously
00:31:51
going to man of my word. I'm absolutely going to keep my word. If I
00:31:53
say a certain number of subscribers, I'm not going to say it again. And he
00:31:56
didn't believe me and he was like, there's got to be a penalty. Why don't
00:31:58
you eat that golf ball. If you don't t shirt. Yes. That
00:32:02
is eat that golf ball ball. Marker. T shirt. Buy it
00:32:05
on fm. Yes, exactly.
00:32:10
Okay, that's the update on the swallow the ball again. I don't know if I'm
00:32:13
happy. Sad. What's your take on it? Real quick, panda? You've been a part of
00:32:16
a lot of these. Are you happy or sad to hear the result of this?
00:32:19
Happy. I've always been team. Somebody could do it. I don't think the
00:32:22
average person, like, if we gave 100 people a golf ball. Someone's dying. Hey,
00:32:26
get this down. It's not 100% live rate,
00:32:30
but someone can do it. What's the percentage? Is it. I
00:32:34
don't know. It's got to be, like, over 100%, right? All right, our next challenge,
00:32:37
we're going to take 100 random people, big, small, tall. We're going to get 100
00:32:41
people, and we're going to take bets on the percentage of people that die. Are
00:32:44
we talking about death? Are we talking. Well, we're going to actually see who can
00:32:48
do it, but everybody's going to. Have to sign up. I think your
00:32:51
options waiver. I think your options are kind of death
00:32:55
or not death. Okay. All right. So there's got to be either you. Spit it
00:32:59
up or you try to get it down. That's what she said.
00:33:03
You get the shed. So you get the shed. No way. Fucking fuck. No,
00:33:06
dude. This is the only thing we have going for us. This is the magic
00:33:09
that happens in here. So speaking of magic, Drew, have you ever seen
00:33:13
my magic trick? And this would be a great time to have a video of
00:33:15
this. I need to do it, and I'm going to go ahead and spoil it
00:33:17
for anyone that tunes in. Hopefully there's not many people at our club tune into
00:33:20
this yet because I want to get some honest reactions. Have you seen my
00:33:24
tie? Your own the shoelaces tie themselves trick? Have you
00:33:28
panda the shoelaces tie themselves trick? I've never done that for you
00:33:32
guys. No magic?
00:33:36
It's better than who, Danny? Okay. I will say,
00:33:39
okay, I'll take it. We went to Montrealizard's son's birthday
00:33:43
party not too long ago, and he had a magician there. And I don't know
00:33:46
if I was more excited than the kids were. I was like, I was love
00:33:49
it. We had so much. But, no, I'm a big magic guy, and one of
00:33:53
the ways I introduced myself to a lot of guys at the club is I
00:33:55
do, like, a weird, stupid magic trick. And I would usually fail at it, but
00:33:59
one that is in my repertoire that came out the other day because it's not
00:34:02
very cold here very often, you have to wear pants for it is the tie
00:34:06
your own shoelaces trick. And if I knew how to edit and
00:34:09
stuff, hopefully I'll put the video up right now of me doing it and blowing
00:34:13
someone's mind. There you go. Bam. So people can see it. Okay. All right,
00:34:16
well, I'm going to go play some golf. Oh, wait, your shoes untied.
00:34:20
Oh, yeah. Have you guys seen these? These are the new shoes. These are the
00:34:23
new foot joys. Actually tie themselves. Have you seen. Yeah, if you just give a
00:34:26
little shake, shake a rip look. Actually ties itself. See?
00:34:30
Wow. All right,
00:34:34
let me ask you this. So in South Florida, what specifically was it West Palm
00:34:37
or where are you guys from again? Wellington. I feel like a
00:34:41
lot of pros have migrated there in the last
00:34:44
years. I don't remember
00:34:48
the number of pros that lived there. Used to live there when
00:34:52
I grew up. I think Jack Nicholas, you know, he
00:34:56
lived there. Tigers obviously lived there after he left.
00:35:00
You know, Rory, that was kind of awesome to see know
00:35:04
go down there. But there's been a lot of clubs, new clubs open
00:35:08
up and prestigious ones all the way up the, you
00:35:12
know, through sound and just. I think the latest one was
00:35:15
Justin Thomas's panther national. I think it is. Oh, it
00:35:19
like, is his signature course or. Yeah, I think that's where
00:35:23
he practices and plays out of. Shut up, JT. Come on here, baby.
00:35:27
We love you. You were.
00:35:31
Nah, we didn't want to see that episode. I was disappointed in them
00:35:34
that they chose and no harm on him. It's not a dig on him.
00:35:38
It's just the fact that based on. Performance, you can't play both sides of the
00:35:41
fence. I'm not. I'm actually just telling him that this year it just so happens,
00:35:45
and it sucks because it's sports and it's like you have to make a decision.
00:35:48
But it sucks that his bad play,
00:35:52
he just had a bad year, and it happened during the Ryder cup year. And
00:35:56
to me, I didn't think that was a great choice. Now he played okay. It
00:36:00
wasn't a great choice. Thank you, Drew. Yeah. Who did they leave?
00:36:03
Cam young. Oh, my gosh. Who's the guy
00:36:07
that won like three? Lucas Bradley. Bradley
00:36:10
Glover won like two tournaments in the last four
00:36:14
weeks of the season. Keegan Bradley was one that they actually
00:36:18
had come out and he played around with. Zach Johnson, played
00:36:22
really well and then they left him off. And if you look at what he
00:36:25
did. Yeah, well, the thing is, I thought. They were going to
00:36:28
get shit rocked by whoever they brought. I think we
00:36:32
got to change the shit rock, dude, I can't have you singing shit rocked. Why?
00:36:36
Because what does shit rocked mean? If I heard the term shit
00:36:39
rocked, does that mean that you're fucked up. Does it mean that you're
00:36:43
shit rocked? If you put it on a t shirt, it'll forever
00:36:46
be t shirt. They were going to.
00:36:50
That's your warehouse they brought over there. Monitor lizard and shit rocked. I am
00:36:54
not shit rocked. I don't even know about Monitor Lizard. I think it should be
00:36:58
like, komodo Dragon. I think that's cooler. Elo
00:37:01
monster. I think, like, monitor
00:37:05
Lizard is like the official. That's what that
00:37:09
one was. Oh, they did. Damn. They said a giant
00:37:12
monitor lizard. I fucked myself.
00:37:16
No, but I mean Komodo dragon and sign of. Komodo dragons are bigger.
00:37:21
They're worse. They're a lot worse. We need another poll.
00:37:25
No, this is a fake one. This is a fake fucking video. Look at this.
00:37:28
They took that same video. It's fucking scary. And then they put
00:37:32
this guy on. That's fucking bullshit, dude.
00:37:36
And he called it pretty fucking real to me. They called it a Komodo dragon.
00:37:39
That's fucked up. Anyway, we give me Komodo dragon. They look very similar. I think
00:37:43
so. Komodo dragons have sharper teeth, and I believe they have bacteria in their mouth.
00:37:46
More so than a monitor lizard? I think they're subjective to
00:37:50
one specific area. Yeah, it's called the Guapaglos island. Shout out
00:37:54
to jeopardy. Shout out to me. Beat panda. And let's get into
00:37:57
stump the panda. All right, let's just do it because you're
00:38:01
fading fast and I'm fine. You need
00:38:04
hemoglobin. Hemoglobin, sure. Or rainbow
00:38:07
flavon. Rainbow Flavon. What is that
00:38:11
favorite segment? Let's get into stump the panda. And one
00:38:15
of the things I was most excited about is for Drew
00:38:18
Evelyn to bring the questions for stump the
00:38:22
panda. I've not been able to do it. I mean, maybe I might get them
00:38:24
from time to time. I can't really find a good rhythm for even asking
00:38:28
the questions. And they always make fun of me on the stupid questions. I'll tell
00:38:31
them the answer before I even ask the question. Sometimes I'll get all mixed up,
00:38:34
but I have not been successful. Drew, please help me out. And you
00:38:38
lead off, stump the panda. Let's go, baby.
00:38:43
From a shed in Tampa let's stump the panda
00:38:48
from a shed in Tampa come stump the panda, panda, panda's got the
00:38:52
facts he's second to none Gov. Trivia. What? Panda man is always
00:38:56
fun Gov. History. Go away with a twist up let's try, try to stump
00:39:00
the panda man if you dare. From knowing Gopa's mom's names and many toes,
00:39:03
too. How Panda knows these answers? Man, I got no clue. Warm shots of
00:39:07
Jaeger if he gets it wrong. If you're the 21 at home, join
00:39:11
along. I didn't know how obscure to make these, but
00:39:15
I went with less obscure kind
00:39:19
of categories that would be maybe familiar to you, but still might
00:39:23
stump you. Okay, let's go. But I love it. All right, I'm excited. All right.
00:39:26
And there is some nuance to this, which I'll explain, but give your
00:39:30
best answer. Okay. All right. What
00:39:34
is the longest drive ever hit in
00:39:37
PGA Tour history? In the shot link era,
00:39:42
the longest drive ever hit. It's got to be
00:39:45
something super obscure, like it was either at
00:39:49
Kapalua or it hit a car. Wait, time out, time out. Let me just make
00:39:52
sure I understand the question and make sure people at home can play along. Panda,
00:39:55
first of all, what is the penalty if you get it wrong? Are you drinking?
00:39:59
I mean, I got to get like the exact yard and the name of the.
00:40:02
No, no. You can give the name. Great question. You got into the
00:40:05
rules. You can give the name, name and
00:40:09
year. Or just name
00:40:13
is in a PGA tournament. Or is this included? It's in a PGA tournament.
00:40:16
Okay. The longest drive ever, I think. Okay, yeah, I got that. So
00:40:20
it's going to be something either stupid far. It was
00:40:24
either at capital it hit a cart path. I'm going to
00:40:27
say Xander Shoffley hit
00:40:30
1461. All right. I like to participate in this question alone
00:40:34
and this question only. I'm usually the one asking the questions. Can I please
00:40:37
participate? Okay, sweet. I would
00:40:41
like to say it was actually this past week, and I believe it was.
00:40:45
Oh, my God. What is that dude's name? It's not Max
00:40:48
Homa. It is Max Homa. Let's
00:40:52
go. It's not Max Homa? No, that's just. I call him because I don't want
00:40:56
to. I say that like a negative. A double negative means a positive, right? So
00:41:00
I thought anything is thumped a panda today with
00:41:03
recent news. That's pretty crazy, dude. I think
00:41:07
I might get two ball markers. He's working for the man now, and he's
00:41:11
not used to it. He doesn't know what to do with himself. Maybe I can
00:41:15
select Komodo Dragon instead of monitor lizard.
00:41:19
I'm going to give it to you for your one for one. Let's go. Let's
00:41:22
keep going. Do you have any other. Let me give you some. If you can
00:41:25
get information on that. Albie, you
00:41:29
saw this then? So Max homer hit
00:41:32
477 yard tee shot. Round three
00:41:37
on the 7th hole at the centri at Kapalua.
00:41:41
He made a birdie. It was a
00:41:43
525 yard hole. Hit it to
00:41:47
4ft from 44 yards. Wait, and he missed the
00:41:50
putt. No, he made the putt. It's a par four. But he made
00:41:54
birdie. He made a birdie. Yeah, but he's still yanked 44
00:41:57
yards. Oh, from 44 yards. Yeah. So
00:42:01
he commented after, when I think the
00:42:04
PJ tour posted on social or whatever, he said, for it being
00:42:08
uphill into the wind. I was pretty proud of this one.
00:42:11
I said, this is nuanced because DJ
00:42:16
drove the ball at the twelveth
00:42:20
hole at Capalua. No, DJ
00:42:24
had a 489 yard at the match play,
00:42:27
okay? And match plays don't count
00:42:30
for driving yardage for longest drives
00:42:34
for PJ Tour stats, okay? Which is crazy
00:42:38
for shot length. But before Max homer
00:42:41
hit the ball 477 yards, the previous
00:42:45
record was Davis Love, the third at the century.
00:42:49
On hole 18, different hole than Homa. Homer hit it
00:42:53
on seven. And Davis loves stood
00:42:57
for 20 years. 476 yards on the
00:43:00
18th hole of the last round. I mean,
00:43:04
imagine pummeling the ball 400
00:43:07
fucking 76 yards on the 18th
00:43:11
hole. DL, three yak of round four, and. It'S like a
00:43:15
long downhill one if you turn it over, but DL, three
00:43:18
yaksen, absolutely ridiculous. On the last hole, you mean? Yeah,
00:43:22
on the last hole. It was almost like it was hole. Was it to win
00:43:25
the tournament? Was it like the last shot to win the tournament? I forget
00:43:29
who won this, but he finished, like, third or something like
00:43:32
that. Like a couple of shots off. But when he gets an albatross
00:43:36
to win a tournament, come at us, we're. Going to talk about that forever.
00:43:40
He has a major. Would you trade your albatross for a major?
00:43:44
You mean the idea that anything's possible? I'm good, thanks. You wouldn't
00:43:48
trade it for a major. If you could just win the Masters? Anything's possible,
00:43:51
dude. You could still. Anything is possible. Your way to a major,
00:43:55
especially if I won the Masters. Then I should probably just assume that
00:43:59
anything's possible. Yeah, exactly. Okay, I got two more
00:44:02
quick stump panda questions. Not
00:44:06
any nuance or anything like that, just straight up. All right,
00:44:10
so lock in panda. Lock it in. All right,
00:44:14
so people. There are two
00:44:17
people with the most hole in ones on the
00:44:21
PGA Tour,
00:44:24
and it's a pretty big number. And
00:44:28
these are two big names in history. They're not
00:44:32
recent. They're in the last, like,
00:44:35
30 years to 15 years ago. Okay,
00:44:39
but most Holland ones on tour. There are two people tied with this number.
00:44:43
I'll tell you the number. Okay. Oh, that's nice. Actually, you know what, that's probably
00:44:47
the easier guess. Number
00:44:50
of hole in ones on tour for these two people. Like just
00:44:54
for your lifetime or do. You want him to name the people on tour? Yeah,
00:44:58
lifetime on tour. I'll tell you the people. No.
00:45:01
Unless he wants to give a golf. Does he get extra credit?
00:45:05
Okay, give him extra credit for the. Player
00:45:09
who most had the most hole in ones on the
00:45:13
two humans who are tied. That's crazy.
00:45:18
I don't think it's tiger. Like, tiger is the obvious one. I don't think it's
00:45:21
tiger. All in once. No. Come on, let's go with the
00:45:24
90s. Ooh, he's helping you. Okay, don't help the
00:45:28
panda. He can help. I mean, that's a pretty help broad.
00:45:32
Like help to stump the panda. Like Tiger was in the 90s, too, I
00:45:35
guess. Okay, 90s. Like Faldo
00:45:39
and fucking Deval. Harry Cooper didn't play for long
00:45:43
enough. Kind of, yeah. Would
00:45:46
say. Okay. All right.
00:45:52
That's like friends era. I'm going to go. They have
00:45:57
singularly,
00:46:01
like, eight Poland ones on the PGA. Whoa, great.
00:46:04
Guess. You're very close. Okay. Then I'm going to
00:46:08
go seven. And it's like Bernhard longer and
00:46:12
Phil. It's actually nine. All right,
00:46:15
so be the right club
00:46:19
today. Okay. Hal Sutton. Okay. Hal Sutton. Wait,
00:46:22
that's what? That's a good one. Wow, that was a really good. How'd you even
00:46:25
know that? I never heard of that. You say a phrase and that's a great
00:46:29
game. You say a phrase and guess the player I love. There you go. That's
00:46:32
a good one. The 99 players.
00:46:37
Yeah, go on, though. Mr. Okay, so it's ten. Okay.
00:46:41
Ten hole in ones. Wow. Two different people have had.
00:46:45
And they're like. I think the crazy stat that I saw was like
00:46:49
50 something people had more than five or six on
00:46:53
pour. Ten, hole in one. So, Hal Sutton.
00:46:56
Okay. And didn't this guy get in, like, a fight
00:47:00
over in California or Hawaii or something? God, I hope so. Robert
00:47:04
Allenby. Yeah, Robert Allenby was in, like, a thing in Hawaii. He was
00:47:08
in a scuffle. He was in a scuffle. Yes, sir. Is there, like a
00:47:11
question for a deep dive question for the poll? We do spinoffs. Okay.
00:47:15
Yeah. Can you use your fancy
00:47:19
handwriting to. Write down deep dive dash, what happened
00:47:22
with Robert Allenby? What the fuck happened with Alanby? Because it's possible it was
00:47:26
like a coke deal gone bad, is it? What do you mean? Please,
00:47:30
please write this down, and please, when can we do this deep dive?
00:47:34
I want you to draw an arrow, and I want you to point all the
00:47:36
way at the top. This takes precedence on all of it.
00:47:40
We got to move, dude. Can I come over to talk about Robert
00:47:44
Allenby's? I'll tell you all that you could learn.
00:47:47
How about that? In any amount of time, you could probably learn
00:47:51
that. We don't really know what the fuck happened. He got beat up.
00:47:55
He tweeted out a bunch of pictures. Let's just do it now. Let's do
00:47:59
it. He, like, tweeted out a bunch of pictures that he had, like, a black
00:48:02
eye and stuff, and we don't really know what happened. I think he withdrew from
00:48:06
the tournament. It wasn't at the Cappaloo event. It
00:48:09
was at a Sony, I think. You mean,
00:48:14
we don't even know when. That was, like, 20 something. This is another
00:48:18
stump the panda question. Guess. Within two years of the year. That
00:48:21
happened. 17.
00:48:25
That happened in 2015, actually, and that is within two years.
00:48:29
That is a push. That's not a win or a loss. Great job. Okay. Wow.
00:48:33
2015, January. It was close. You almost got 14 there. But,
00:48:37
yeah, Alan B. Posted a selfie of his entries and this story. So it
00:48:41
looks like he missed a cut of the Sony Open. Damn. You even said
00:48:45
that. That's crazy. Went drinking with then Caddy Mick middle
00:48:48
Mamo. That's not his name. Something like that. And he believes his
00:48:52
drink was spiked at the bar. Happens, dude. That happens. He got.
00:48:57
Of course. I could see that.
00:49:01
Is that worse than, like, Lucas Glover's wife
00:49:05
beating him up? All right, look up Lucas Glover.
00:49:10
Between Robert Allenby, Donaho Cabrera.
00:49:14
You're hired. Lucas, you're, like, five
00:49:17
things. And Tiger woods, like, who had the worst domestic? You
00:49:21
just want to know all the scandals. That is a great fucking
00:49:24
game. Say it again. The. Yes. What you just said. All
00:49:28
right, so between, like, Anhel Cabrera and Robert Allenby and
00:49:32
Lucas Glover and Tiger woods, like, what's the worst scamble?
00:49:36
Which is the worst domestic?
00:49:40
Like, there's some pretty bad ones. Okay. That would be such a fun night.
00:49:44
What about Gary Player's son? Yeah, the Gary player's son one was.
00:49:47
What is that? See, I don't even know that one. So they did a great
00:49:49
job of covering it up because I don't know. It didn't do it. I have
00:49:52
a golf podcast, and I don't know anything about. I don't know anything about Gary
00:49:56
Player's son. You've got Gary Encyclopedia behind just hawking golf
00:50:00
balls at the Masters. He was what? He was hawking golf
00:50:04
balls during the Lee elder ceremony at the Masters.
00:50:07
What's wrong with that? Why is that worse?
00:50:12
Because he was, like, taking camera time
00:50:15
and holding his golf ball up to the camera and
00:50:21
he was being paid to do it and he
00:50:24
can no longer go back to. So
00:50:28
it's a really weird mean. That's not the worst one.
00:50:32
There's been a lot more dirty shit. Also, have a segment on what happened to
00:50:35
Holly Saunders. That is a good deep dive. All right, write it down. Write
00:50:39
it down. We're making progress here, people. This is amazing. Could you sleep at
00:50:43
Augusta national without getting caught overnight? Anywhere at Augusta national? Dude,
00:50:46
you can't sit down at Augusta national in the middle of the
00:50:50
day. So probably not. So it's a really interesting question
00:50:54
we ask everyone. We try to ask everyone on this channel, but
00:50:58
I think you can. I really do. Now, we've had people
00:51:02
chime. I've asked this question. There's been people that chimed in that, oh, no. I
00:51:04
used to work at Augusta. There's no chance. But I don't believe it's got to
00:51:08
be someplace. They have more insight than you. For sure.
00:51:12
I know I'm in your shed, but you thought it was
00:51:15
240 miles an. Hour swing speed going for the
00:51:19
throat.
00:51:23
There was something else. There was something else. That was it. Oh, the
00:51:27
swallow the ball. Yeah, you can definitely swallow a ball. You can.
00:51:30
Somebody can. I thought you were on team. You can swallow. Yeah, you can.
00:51:34
Oh, you can. Okay, so we were all like. We were all.
00:51:39
Try to hit me with that. Where are you going? I'm going to the pee
00:51:41
hole. All right. Yeah. Well, Drew, while
00:51:45
we wait on pan to come back from the pee hole, why don't you explain
00:51:48
a little bit more about your childhood? Because you guys were
00:51:52
budies with Brooks Kaepka, which is interesting.
00:51:56
What is your connection with them? I've always wondered that. Because
00:52:00
you're pretty close to them. You sent me pictures of you drinking out of his.
00:52:04
I don't know. So. My brother knows him really well.
00:52:08
My brother used to play golf professionally. Did you tell me one
00:52:11
tournament that they play in the PGA that you go with a
00:52:15
friend or someone else, and it's like a scramble? Not a scramble. What is
00:52:19
it? It's a two man deal. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. And
00:52:22
I thought your brother played with them. Oh, okay. All right. Well,
00:52:26
I'll tell you so Brooks is
00:52:29
a little younger than me, but we. All grew up in West Palm, right? My
00:52:33
mom was the president of the Palm Beach Junior Golf
00:52:36
association. Oh, no way. Did your mom play? I didn't know that.
00:52:40
My mom does. Yeah, she's got ten horn ones. No, she
00:52:44
does not. Really. Yeah. I just started reading.
00:52:48
Not to get off on a tangent, but Arnold Palmer's last
00:52:51
book about his life, and I didn't know about his dad
00:52:55
and how he learned how to play golf. Obviously a lot of people learn from
00:52:58
their dad, but he learned from his dad. His dad.
00:53:02
I just read this yesterday, so it's fresh on my mind. But
00:53:06
his dad was working downtown in a building and
00:53:09
didn't like working indoors. So he
00:53:13
found out there was a golf course being built down the street
00:53:16
and got a job actually building the golf course. And then that turned
00:53:20
into maintaining the golf course, which then in turn
00:53:24
turned into him being the pro at the golf course. Wait, this is Jack
00:53:27
Nicholas. This is Palmer. Oh, right. So his dad went from not
00:53:31
knowing anything about golf to being the head pro at this golf
00:53:35
course, and Arnold Palmer ended up being around know every day,
00:53:39
so that's pretty cool. I don't know why I told that story.
00:53:43
So you grew up with Brooks Kefka? Let's get back to that.
00:53:47
How did you grow? You just. Your brother was friends with them.
00:53:52
How do they know each other? Were they in the same classes and stuff or
00:53:54
they in the same area? Did you guys go to the same school as him?
00:53:57
So he went to a school called Wellington Christian.
00:54:01
And after my older brother and I graduated,
00:54:05
he transferred to Cardinal Newman High School,
00:54:08
where we went to school and catholic school in
00:54:12
West Palm. My younger brother was there and ended up playing on a
00:54:16
high school team with him. And their mascot is the
00:54:19
crusader. Okay. What does that look like? A guy with a spear,
00:54:23
probably of some. Pretty much a shield. You get a shield with the crusader I
00:54:26
love probably. Yeah, that's a great. Yeah, that's a
00:54:30
great. We should do some ball markers for high school mascots. All right, here's the
00:54:33
thing that we're going to do at dig Yamad. We're going to make this a
00:54:35
poll. Give us the top. What are the top five? High school has to
00:54:39
be high school mascots and what do we want to judge it with? We
00:54:43
should have some flavors here. Like the most ferocious. It has to have like a
00:54:46
ferocious flavor of like, what do you think they are?
00:54:50
What's your favorite high school mascot? Panda. My favorite high school
00:54:54
mascot? Yeah, the one that you cherish I. Was a
00:54:57
Lubbot Cooper pirate, so I cherish that, obviously. But
00:55:01
in Texas, there's the south lake Carol. They're like the dragons or
00:55:05
something. I like when people are dragons. Oh, it's a Komodo.
00:55:08
You're a dragon, dude. That's your have you guys. That's your spirit animal dog. So
00:55:12
I want to make sure. So we are against. Because we have certain prerequisites here
00:55:16
at Diggyama. One is we're against ball retrievers. We're also against
00:55:19
glove putters. We're against really, iron covers. Iron
00:55:23
covers we don't like either, but we catch a lot of shit.
00:55:27
There's some passionate people out there about iron covers. And I've gotten a couple
00:55:31
of arguments on social, and I'm like, wait, you know what? I don't want. No.
00:55:34
What about be passionate from the other side of the fence? What about the
00:55:37
ballsy? It's that thing that you
00:55:41
keep in your pocket, but it splits open. It's got, like, terry cloth on the
00:55:45
inside. What, that you could just put your ball in and just like, go like.
00:55:49
No, they do not clean your ball. That sounds like a great product that can
00:55:52
ball that guy. I don't know. He hasn't come forward to me.
00:55:56
You know what, though? It sounds like a great product, and they are welcome to
00:55:59
sponsor us if they want. Now, I will say
00:56:05
the ball cleaner on a golf course, is that a good golfer?
00:56:09
Like, who uses the ball cleaner? First of all, I didn't know we had one
00:56:13
still. I thought it was kind of an older thing. Yeah, that was another one
00:56:15
that you were really adamant that you were right
00:56:19
and you were was. First of all. No, I just didn't remember
00:56:23
any. And that was Billy. And I was with. Actually, Brandon. I was playing with
00:56:26
him, and he was the one that said, man, I really don't remember any on
00:56:29
the golf course. And I'm like, that was you, me and Brandon. Yeah. And I
00:56:33
said, maybe I did. Yeah, maybe I did. Carter and Carter.
00:56:36
Yeah, maybe you're right. All right, well, I've got a unique, maybe,
00:56:40
perspective on this. They're putting ball cleaners on the golf
00:56:44
carts these days. I think it's okay to do it
00:56:48
on the golf cart. That's fine. But if you seek
00:56:51
out an actual ball cleaner that's, like, staked into
00:56:55
the ground, I might draw the line there.
00:56:58
Would you want to have a challenge of drink the ball cleaner water? That was
00:57:02
one of our questions. I love that question. How much would it take? Like, how
00:57:06
much money would it take for you to drink the ball cleaner. Now. I love
00:57:09
this question so much. This is right? No,
00:57:13
I don't think. I mean, there's got to be a number, dude. And I'm talking
00:57:16
one that's been there. Like, let's just take an average municipal. Not like, we should
00:57:19
put a microscope, bacterial microscope,
00:57:23
in the water. Somebody who has maintenance at, like,
00:57:27
golf courses. You really just put water in it? You don't ever put, like.
00:57:33
Why does it smell so bad? Why does that smell so bad? Is that because
00:57:36
we're getting microscopic makeup? Nah, dude.
00:57:39
There is fucking feces, all right? There is something in there you could probably
00:57:43
create. Sure, you could create just adding a couple of chromosomes or whatever
00:57:47
you do, you could probably create a pretty nasty creature with the shit that's in
00:57:51
there. But somebody's got to test. I don't think you do that. Somebody's got to
00:57:54
test the water in the igloo, like, water coolers
00:57:58
out on the golf course, and see which golf
00:58:02
course actually has safe drinking water. All right, let's do it. We're going
00:58:06
to do that as a mission. Our charity work here is just getting started at
00:58:09
Diama. We really want our first initial sponsor, but one of the charity projects that
00:58:13
we're going to be working on is really checking the water igloo
00:58:16
coolers@mostyamacares.com.
00:58:20
Yeah. Where we care about clean drinking water out on the course, because we're going
00:58:23
to be drinking other stuff, and you need water. We're taking donations at.
00:58:27
What's the handle? Dityama FM. Go to the far right.
00:58:31
You'll see it. Real estate professor gets whole in one record.
00:58:35
Wow. Mike Creen. This is a publication from 2005,
00:58:38
and I'm doing this in honor of you, Mike Cree, because I really wanted to
00:58:42
have you on the podcast, unfortunately. Shut up, Mike. Shout out to you, Mike,
00:58:45
because I hope to God someone does a story on Brando Redding. And there's enough
00:58:49
out there. It's actually Brandon Redding, just for you to, Mike.
00:58:52
And I hope there's enough podcasts and enough content out there where they're like, you
00:58:55
know what? No one really gave him any credit, but Brandon Redding got an albatross
00:58:59
to win a golf tournament. It was crazy. But back to Mike cream.
00:59:03
Even during Mike Cream's time, I try to take over
00:59:07
this guy. He basically has this world record golf shot. Been
00:59:11
playing golf for over 49 years. He made the longest hole in one in american
00:59:14
history on July 4. Wow, what a day. July 4,
00:59:18
2002. Although the 517
00:59:21
yard par five hole is listed in the US golf
00:59:25
register. Cree still has a hard time believing he really did it
00:59:28
because no one actually saw the ball go in.
00:59:34
Dude, I got Mike beat. Dude, I hate Mike. I know you're gone. You can't
00:59:37
really fight me on this, but listen, I got you beat. Dude. I have two
00:59:41
people that witnessed it go in, so no one saw yours go. Anyway, according
00:59:45
to Cree. According to Cream. This is the next paragraph. This guy got this much,
00:59:48
but you. Type his name, whole story. According to.
00:59:52
All right, that's a t shirt and a ball marker, according to
00:59:56
Cree, with your fancy handwriting. Can you please write down according to
00:59:59
please? Like, that is a great sitcom. Anyway, according to
01:00:03
Cream, there was a straight line of sight from the tee to the
01:00:07
hole. So it's unlikely that anyone could have picked up the ball and dropped it
01:00:10
in without cream or his three partners seeing him. Oh, the
01:00:14
ball might have hit a stoneyard marker located at ground
01:00:18
level and then bounced into the hole. Or it might have gone straight in.
01:00:22
We just went through the longest drives in history.
01:00:25
Tiger is the longest drive which
01:00:29
was erased from the historical record books,
01:00:32
498 yards. So
01:00:35
according to Crane is a great. Not only did he hit it
01:00:39
516 yards, and it wasn't at
01:00:43
Kapalua. Yeah, Denver. But
01:00:46
it went fucking in the hole. Well, suppose
01:00:50
accordingly. Crane, well, he's got three of his buddies. They couldn't see it. Straight line
01:00:53
of sight. But the near impossible feat happened on the 9th hole of Green Valley
01:00:57
Ranch near Denver airport. I was going to do a whole thing on this.
01:01:00
Like, go out there, find the gockor, see if it's still around. Interview. Mike Creen
01:01:04
interviewed the three buddies that were with him, unfortunately. And he was actually a
01:01:07
professor at University of Denver. Unfortunately, he
01:01:11
passed away. He did real estate. I thought that was interesting. What did he profess?
01:01:15
Real estate. Real estate stuff.
01:01:18
According to Creen, was he pre
01:01:22
podcast era? Well, would he have had a podcast. Called
01:01:26
Daddy tell you about my condor? Yeah.
01:01:31
I would put that episode, that show, it sounds better than ours,
01:01:35
but I do think the albatross is a better bird. That's a great question for
01:01:39
the poll. Is the albatross better than a condor?
01:01:43
Here's what you need. Have you ever played a scramble? Like a
01:01:46
charity scramble or something? And you get up to a par five and
01:01:50
they're like, for $20, you get to shoot your ball out of the
01:01:53
cannon? Yes, that fucking thing. What I want to know is,
01:01:57
how fast does the ball come out of the cannon? Would you
01:02:01
rather get compared to Kyle Berkshire's ball. It might
01:02:04
just also come out with like zero spin. It does. It has zero spin on
01:02:08
a. Okay, but there are a lot of drivers out there that. Should we
01:02:12
interview? Should I. Three and a half degrees that are zero spin, too. Dude, I
01:02:16
could easily put our virtual assistant on trying to find me the
01:02:19
guy that owns one or maybe operates one of those for those and could. Do
01:02:23
like three shots at a super slow mo. Get the miles. I want to know
01:02:26
how it works. I want to know the scientist guy that put this thing together
01:02:29
who figured this out. Give us the stats on it. I want Lou Stagner, shout
01:02:33
out Lou Stagner on Twitter to the stack guy to come
01:02:36
and talk about that. No, we'll probably want to have him on. We'll have the
01:02:39
guy admitted it. That probably make a lot more sense. And I think it's definitely
01:02:42
a knuckle ball. There's no way that ball has spin that comes out. Have you
01:02:45
guys ever done it? Yeah, done it a couple of times. I've done it, too.
01:02:48
And it goes like, dude, it would kill us maybe over
01:02:51
500 yards, but. Would it kill you if it hit you? You're saying, would
01:02:55
Kyle Berkshire's ball go far in that? I'm
01:02:59
saying, what's the ball speed? What is
01:03:03
the ball speed? I think that's what he said. The cannon versus
01:03:07
the ball speed of Kyle Berkshire's ball. So the
01:03:10
spin might be different. So Kyle
01:03:14
Berkshire's ball might go less. It probably will.
01:03:17
But is the ball speed in the same vicinity?
01:03:21
Is the Canon 300 or is it. 280
01:03:25
or is it, depending on ball flight and blank cartridge,
01:03:28
the x four, which we're going to purchase, and shout out to x four, tell
01:03:32
me how. Much one of these things cost. And we're buying it. It's actually free
01:03:36
when you're sponsored by X Products, who, by the way, when I say
01:03:39
X products, I really mean great products. These guys never fail at
01:03:43
anything they make. They are fantastic. Including flamethrowers. Look at
01:03:46
this. Flamethrowers they make. We offer the largest variety of
01:03:50
flamethrowers. No, for commercial and. Holy shit.
01:03:54
Commercial, flamethrower and consumer use. If there was ever
01:03:57
a company for our podcast, it
01:04:01
is these guys. I'm just going to lobby
01:04:05
for my full time flamethrower. Holy
01:04:09
w two status here. Did I tell you about my
01:04:12
albatross? Because I've come with the ideas. Dude, you are El
01:04:16
Fuego. No trespassing violators will be met with a
01:04:19
flamethrower. We are absolutely buying this sign. I'm
01:04:23
actually going to engrave this sign for next time we come in here. No trespassing.
01:04:27
We are going to be selling this ball marker for this episode. It's kind of
01:04:30
up in the air. Now that I see this, I want to be more known
01:04:33
as more of a dragon. Like a flamethrower. Flamethrower. Yeah. No
01:04:37
trespassing or you'll be met with. So that's sick.
01:04:41
On that note, thank you for joining us
01:04:44
tonight, Drew, Evelyn, we've enjoyed your time here, and we look
01:04:48
forward to having you back here soon, man.
01:04:52
Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Don't miss out on our upcoming golf giveaways and
01:04:56
experiences. They're exclusive to our subscribers, and all you got to do do
01:05:00
is subscribe. And until next time, golf's easy. Think fairways and
01:05:03
greens. Oh, here we go. Come on. Did I tell you about my
01:05:07
albatross? A yo? Tell you, though.
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